Silliness

My initial objective in creating this blog was to chronicle the cute, witty, and inspiring things that my kids do and say. Pretty much every day, either David or Elizabeth say something that is profoundly funny, and I make a mental note remember it, write it down, and share it on my blog later. I always - ALWAYS - forget.

But there were a few gems tossed around last night that will be seared in my memory for a long while. Let me explain.

Yesterday, I was in Los Angeles for a good portion of the day, as my mom and I had the pleasure - honor, really - of being invited to attend the memorial service for the legendary Jack LaLanne. My parents and the LaLanness worked together in a number of charity organizations throughout the years, and we've been privileged to have them in our lives for so long. They are a remarkable couple. The celebration of Jack's life was filled with laughter, good memories, wonderful speakers, and a bit of music ... and, of course, audio-visual snippets of his classic television show.

But by the time mom and I pulled out of the parking lot, we'd been at Forest Lawn for four hours. We'd been sitting for quite a while. I craved a diet coke. But we ventured onto the freeway in the hops of beating the rush hour traffic. With the carpool lane to our advantage, we made pretty good time back to Claremont.

I dropped Mom off at her car (which she'd parked at our house) and proceeded immediately to get David from school. I pulled up to Foothill Country Day School, and could see my little seven-year-old through the windows of the library, engaged in a  one-man game of Connect Four.

Back in the car, we scooted over to Elizabeth's day care center, and repeated the pick-up process.

When we got home, I told the kids that they were welcome to go upstairs and play while I cooked dinner, but that they must come down to the kitchen when I tell them to. The response was a resounding, "okay!" and they ran upstairs to dig into their goodies.

About five minutes later, Elizabeth came downstairs, arms filled with stuffed animals. "My sleeping buddies are having dinner, too!" she said!

"Really? Okay, that's sounds good."

She then proceeded to try to station each animal in one of the bar stools that surround the center island in the kitchen. Realizing she was a bit too short to do this task properly, she invoked my assistance.

So, Tiger, Elephant and Piggie all took a seat. As you can see, Tiger looked resplendent in her St. Patrick's Day Princess Cowgirl hat.

By the time dinner was ready and we were prepared to sit down to eat, I realized that there were no empty chairs. David, Elizabeth and cuddly friends had taken up the entire dining area. I asked nicely if Piggy and another friend could share a chair. Elizabeth ultimately agreed.

Fast forward to the end of dinner; the kids and I eat heartily, and ice cream is served. Although she requested a scoop, Elizabeth only picked at her chocolate dessert. David ate it up with delight. Elizabeth returned upstairs, leaving her animals behind.

"David, would you mind taking two of these upstairs for me?" I asked Little Man, pointing in the direction of the menagerie.

"Sure," he said with a small sigh. He slipped off her bar stool and started collecting the animals. I grabbed two of them, as well.

"Give those to me, too!" he said. "I can take them."

"Well, thanks, sweetie! I really appreciate it!"

"But mommy ... just so you know ... I'm not a zookeeper." And, arms full, David proceeded to take the zoo upstairs.

Then, it was time to start getting ready for bed. By the time we finished dinner, it was almost 7:30. I had no idea where the time went. I asked each of them to grab some jammies and meet me in the bathroom.

"Okay!" they replied in unison (and promptly said "JINX!" to each other).

I stepped over to the washing machine to put some more Spray and Wash on the knees of David's school uniform pants, and could not help but notice some severe giggling behind me. I mean, really - it was hard-core laughing. I was not sure I wanted to know what was up.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look!" David said.

I turned around. There stood my son, naked as the day he was born, wearing nothing but my boots and a smile. Elizabeth, in her (almost) matching birthday suit, was licking his butt. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or turn myself into the authorities.

He was jubilant! "Take my picture! Take my picture!" he said! "Take a picture of Elizabeth licking me!"

"Not until you get some underwear on. I'm not taking naked pictures. And I'm not taking licking pictures, either. Eww!!"


A bit of negotiations followed, and he reluctantly put on his Iron Man briefs. "These are my tidy-whities," he proclaimed happily. He stepped back into the boots.

I snapped a few shots, being both slightly horrified but hugely amused at how much these kids thought this whole ordeal was a hoot. David struck pose after pose. He was in his glory, and his biggest fan, his little sister, was cheering from the sidelines.

I'll decline posting any of these photos on this blog, as I'm not too keen on having photos of my kids in their undies being on the World Wide Web. Suffice it to say, however, that my David is photogenic, no matter what he is (or is not) wearing.